Today’s prompt is What’s a lie you tell yourself?
I tell myself I am “extroverted” but…am I? I’ve never looked it up. I don’t recall ever taking a test that determines introversion, extroversion and ambiversion. No doctor has ever diagnosed me as an extrovert. I just decided one day, “I’m an extrovert, fuckers!”
And that was that.
What would my life be like had I “gone introvert?”
I imagine I, Connie, introverted, would have long eyelashes and pink cheeks. I’d shun politics and favor civil discourse. I’d be a Christian with impeccable posture. Cloth napkins, goblets, linen table cloths 24/7. I’d set the table with those things because introverts have taste. I’d have a Swiffer Sweeper and know exactly how much bleach to use when I’m washing a load of whites.
I read somewhere that introverts have real meaning in their lives, much more than us mothereffin’ extroverts.
What is “real meaning,” mofos?
I don’t know. All I know is one day I am going to die and while I don’t mind living la vida extroverta, please God, let my death be introverted. Let it be a quiet departure with a simple obituary in the local paper. I know they’re expensive but the introvert in me craves a quiet goodbye.
Thanks for reading.