The Goldie Rule

Got a call from my husband yesterday afternoon. He’s working in San Francisco for a few days. When he’s out of town, he usually calls in the evenings so I was surprised when I heard his special ringtone.

“Hi Goldie, everything OK?”

“I read your blog…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Spit it out, Goldie.”

“It’s good, it’s…Usually you aren’t so…so…”

“I know it’s bad but I couldn’t get there for some reason.”

“It’s not bad. It’s just…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“I understand, Goldie.”

That’s when I knew the life lesson I was going to share for today’s blog. It’s the golden rule for artists: No matter how corny the prompt (line, direction, play, etc.) is, give it your best. Don’t negate. Say “yes and…” Share what’s beautiful inside you, not what’s aggravating or annoying.

So, backing up a bit…Yesterday’s prompt was to write about a challenge that I “faced and overcame.”

My challenge is my vanity. Though I haven’t officially “overcome” it, I face it every day and have for many years.

I stopped wearing makeup and jewelry. I haven’t worn makeup since I was in my twenties, not even on my wedding day. When I got engaged, I stopped wearing jewelry and a few years ago, I stopped wearing my wedding ring.

I still long to wear thick rock-n-roll eyeliner and a deep, dark lip color. And I adore my pretty diamond ring. When I stopped wearing it, my hand literally felt wobbly and weak without it, as if I’d just had a cast removed. I had removed the “thing” that I thought was helping me heal. There are times I still feel self conscious without it.

But I don’t need makeup to say “I’m at a special event.” I don’t need a ring to say “I am married.” I don’t need anything except my mind to make me feel confident.

I like presenting myself without any social borders. Not wearing makeup or jewelry means there is nothing stopping me from having a truthful conversation. It says there is nothing stopping our collaboration from being fresh and unique. My bare face and unadorned presence are intended to be symbolic of me bringing nothing but my mind and a clean slate to our friendship.

It seems to be working. Generally speaking, nobody makes gagging sounds when they look at me. And men don’t exactly fall over themselves because they think I’m single and ready to mingle.

Most people I meet are honest, direct and look me in the eye. They do not care what I look like or how much jewelry I wear. They trust me and I trust them. It’s a wonderful world. I just hope my efforts haven’t been in vain.

Thank you for reading my blog. -Connie

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